A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two homosexuals walk into a bedroom, and begin to have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ready for something funny? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You were born.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock. Who`s there? The police, your family were killed in a bakery A German bakery.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the black guy say to you when you took his fried chicken Give me back my chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I am very humble.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

In Soviet Russia, the political system was very different than it is today.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops