Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

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Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

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Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

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One time, I called the police, but it was actually a fire. So my neighbors died.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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