Get some flipping new jokes people

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Why did he? NO I LOST THE CHICKEN Later: Knock knock Who's there The chicken

His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

Johnny Depp is Alexander Graham the whole time.

Apirl showers bring... Tornadoes that kill families

What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

Roses are Red Violets are Purple But nothing rhymes with purple.

Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

So a moose, a deer, and a horse walk into a bar. One of the people at the bar was a hunter who was carrying his gun. Several people got up and left after they realized the potential danger of the situation.

It says so on your cap.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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