How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the blond fall down? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

thumb_up thumb_down +20

so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops