What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

Why did Stephen get an A on his test? He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Will Smiths rapping attempt was suprisingly not harmful to his career as he later played in blockbusters such as Independence Day, Men in Black, The Pursuit of Happiness ect..

How many republicans does it take to raise the debt ceiling? Technically, none, as the president has the right to do this based on the 14th amendment.

i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

I work at jcpenny

What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

Laugh.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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