What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? Take a price of cloth and put it over his eyes

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I AM YOUR SALVATION! And you are my poopstain

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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no pun intended

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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it's weird how Jesus came out of the cave on the same day as Easter

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops