Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a creepy person trying to break into your house? A robber

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I woke up today

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Nuneaton..

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the gay lifeguard tell the little boy at the pool? No running!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why are fish bad at basketball? Because they're afraid of the net...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why are black people so good at basketball because they can jump shoot and steel

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and the killing of 12 other numbers

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Actually it was me Josh brown

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by a fridge. Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she got hit by a fridge. Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because it had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo momma so fat she weighs 400 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the guy get glasses? So he could get his dick into the vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

19 roosters walk into a roller coaster

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops