I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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I used to know what alzheimers was

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

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Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

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There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

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Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

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Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

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i like my coffee like i like my women... Without a penis

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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What's green and blue? yellow

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what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? pretty much everything because dead babies aren't a laughing matter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops