A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

Why did the fat kid fall of his bike? The skinny kid pushed him off!

Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

You wanna hear a joke? Me too

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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