Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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