Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy go to his room? Because his father told him to.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

no pun intended

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get a black man out of his house? you ring the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An american man, chinese man, black man, and a Mexican man walk into a bar. The american man says i want to show you guys a trick, so they go to the empire state building and the american man jumps off the side and comes back up alive. He tells them i will do it one more time, watch closely. So he jumps off and comes back alive. The american guy tells the chinese man to do it. So the chinese guy jumps off and dies. Then the american guy tells the mexican to jumps off, sonhe does it. The mexican man dies and the black guy is told to do it and he is afraid, but still does it, he dies. The american man goes back to the bar and the barkeep says "Superman you can be a real dick when your drunk!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

thumb_up thumb_down -5

ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who keeps his best friend in a gun rack? a red neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops