What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

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Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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