A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Someone else's cheese.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Q: Why is the sky green? A: It's not

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What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

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Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

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Whats worse than one beast thing? Two beast things. Whats worse than two beast things? The holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust? Three beast things.

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A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Have you seen Jamal's socks?

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

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You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

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9 tottenham fans walk into a french bar 2 minutes later French fans attack them saying this is for making our history lessons boring 1 shouts ohh the holocaust French fans ash him even more 5 say there call the jew squard next minute there getting attacked by a bunch of kids and lying that there were 30 neo Nazi men.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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