What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

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What happens when a super saiyan eats a fully grown pineapple? hehe xd

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Whats the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out!

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

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roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

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Why did the woman pay $5,000 for a gallon of milk? She didn't. She paid $2.99.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have 5 Fingers The Middle One's For You!! :D

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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What do Black people call their fathers? Dad.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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Q: Whats worse than finding 10 babies in a trash can? A: Finding 1 baby in 10 trash cans!

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What did Jean Luc Picard say to Data when he saw a broken Janome Overlocker? Make it Sew

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What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

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What do you call a red light A:soon to be green

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What happen? Idk...

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what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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