You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

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lewis ya baggy fuck

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, it sounds like you've got a well manufactured, correctly working appliance. If not, you might want to either have a technician come over and look at it or you should simply replace it with a working one.

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

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What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

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A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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What's dark, has an opening, and guys like to go in it. A cave

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

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I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

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Is J.P. dumb? Yes

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A baby seal walks into a club. He is immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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why was the little boy crying? he wasnt, he died 2 weeks ago

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Two babies wonder off from their home. They die of starvation because there parents could not find them in time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops