Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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Women's rights

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No just stuff on the internet when I get bored, like on facebook and stuff, why a nurse? Whats wrong? Is he ill?

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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A lot eh?

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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whats wooden and hard a wooden floor

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How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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