How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

Why did the muslim cross the road? To get to the other Saiid.

A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

Thats what she said

how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

Rebecca Black

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

why did the chicken cross the road he didnt he was hit by a van

If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...