Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

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What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

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Q. What happened when a man went to a bar? A. Nothing, The bar was closed.

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What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

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facebook is like a refrigerator. you eat it.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in an apple within a worm inside your apple...

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Do you know what the meaning of life is? Of course you don't.

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

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Why did the black man get stuck to the ceiling? Because he was spiderman.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What is the difference between my right hand and my left hand? I used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

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So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

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What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

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your momma eats so much ice cream, you often find yourself without anything sweet to eat late at night when you're hungry

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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