I own two ferrets. I was merely stating something factual.

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An irish man walks into a bar. He drinks responsibly, and leaves shortly afterward.

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Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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Hehe 9/11 Funny Stuff If you know what I mean!!

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she believes in God. While her faith has absolutely nothing to do with her intelligence and in 2014 only the most bigoted and stupid people would demean people based on their religion,she does have an IQ of 65 and is therefore believed to be mentally inadequate. It's really quite sad.

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what happens when you put nina and harry in the same room. Nina will die instantly of shock

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What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

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Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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