Why do Christians believe in God? Because they're stupid

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Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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knock knock who's there Bob oh hi, come in

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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What are kids supposed to do in American classrooms if a nuke hits nearby? Hide under the desk. (This is a fact) Moral: Like that is gonna help... seriously that is ridiculous!

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I have Alzheimer's, i pee out gold, racoons

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Mexican and an American are on a plane. It crashes due to an oversight concerning its weight limit, killing all of its passengers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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Why did the pony say neigh? That`s all he can say

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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What's the difference between an eight year old girl and a Jew? Only one comes back from camp.

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

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A Jew walks into Macy's

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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What is red? A rock painted red

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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A man goes into a bar and gets drunk. He realizes that he is too drunk to drive and calls a cab to bring him home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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