How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

This anti-joke below is hilarious.

You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

why was justin sad? his family was murdered

Neither have I

Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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