roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

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Kevin+Sean sitting in a tree enjoying mcdonald's free wifi.

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What do u do if a blonde throws a bomb at u Trigger the bomb and throw it back

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How can you tell a blonde a brunette and a red head apart? Ask them if that is their natural hair color.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? I threw a ball at her.

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Knock knock

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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What's the difference between a black preist and a white priest? the color of their skin.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

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Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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