Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Because he was bringing food to support his wife and 3 kids whom were very hungry and needed it to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black man walks into a store with a gun. He is a policeman bringing in a murder weapon as part of his investigation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops