Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

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How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

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So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Cause she's a woman

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. A worm in your apple.

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There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

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q- what do you call a small number of black people running away from a large group of white people? a- every marathon known to man...

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Why is Lewis hayphore gay Answer = because he sucked hos brother off #Cameron Hayphore

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Some home health supplies. He really needed them, too.

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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What does a homeless man get for Valentines Day? Divorce papers

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Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because lately the posts on "anti-joke.com" have not been anti-jokes. Not even a little.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

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How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops