Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

Just got cancer: YOLO!! -sad face-

What body part do you shave other than your balls? My fridge.

A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

honest politician

An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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