How do you say cabbage in Spanish? You don't.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

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So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

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What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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What's an Anti Joke?

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Your mother is so bad at cooking that people often remark on how bad at cooking she is.

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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whoes considered the best trackstar in the world. the random jamacan who ran onto the field.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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