An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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Whats faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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what's more interesting than capital gains tax? (there's no answer)

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how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

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"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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a kid walks into a room and confesses to his mother he is gay the mother then repeatedly beats him until he is bleeding out of both ears then leaves him there to think about what he just said.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops