What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

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What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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whats yellow? lots of things.

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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Your mama is so stupid she has an IQ lower than an average person.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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