Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

WHAT THE BABIES?!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Jim: You know whats funny? Bob: What? Jim: The 28th Amendment.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Kid 1: Hey, guess what? Kid 2: Your MOM! HAHA! Kid 1:... My mother died two months ago from brain cancer after being shot in the head while fighting for our country in Iraq... Kid 2:.... um.. Your mom...?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

This episode featuring an all new nonspeaking character, who never goes on screen.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks into a bar, it is then frightened and bucks a man in the chest. Animal control and an ambulance are promptly called. The horse is then taken to a stable, while the man is taken to the hospital where he later made a full recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is Osama Bin Laden's favourite colour? Doesn't matter. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock Shut up

thumb_up thumb_down +3

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

thumb_up thumb_down +3

True or False : it would not cause a public disturbence to express your pornography to the public??? ture. pornography is the freedom of speech and ability to express oneself

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops