Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

But who would want to sell us out and why?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A horse walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?". The horse replied, "It's evolutionarily efficient to have an elongated skull so that I can eat vegetation with ease."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If you are on this site, you have a shitty life. It is even shittier if you read this.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops