what do jews, blacks, and asians have in common? they have all been targets of racism!

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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What did the PC say to the Mac? Nothing you idiot! Computers can't talk.

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A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the second and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" The second muffin replies, "Holy crap a talking muffin!"

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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knock knock who's there? hope

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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*knock, knock* "Who's there?" *knock, knock* "Who's there?" This went on for hours, as man 1 was deaf, and man 2 was blind.

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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