Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

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Where did Lucy go went the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

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Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

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Roses are red Violets are blue These two lines are overused I wonder to what poem they originally come from

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Why was the woman sad? Because her son died.

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This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

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whats annoying and won't go away?. Aids.

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Who won in a game of Brawl... Holden

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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Why was little Johnny sad? His parents were killed in an awful fire

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Why are you so stupid? Becuse I spelled because wrong

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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hextech crafting too opieop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops