A racist walks into a bar. Nasty accident you had there mate. You should be more careful next time.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

thumb_up thumb_down +1

AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was little Jessica missing?? She was stuck in the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Nowadays, aviation is the most secure means of conveyance in the world, but paragliding is not.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yesterday I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't stab you 17 times in the kidney?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you here about the man who dropped a glass? It broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Pi and i are having an argument about the state of modern mathematics. Pi goes into a frenzy and i says "be rational". Pi does not realise that i was just being friendly, and so tells him: "get real". [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

thumb_up thumb_down +1

penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis dick8==D~~~~

thumb_up thumb_down +1

AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops