A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and the killing of 12 other numbers

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Why is Lewis hayphore gay Answer = because he sucked hos brother off #Cameron Hayphore

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What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

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Q. What did the gay kid say to his group of straights? A. 10 dollars to the first one to tip over that little asian boy on the bike.

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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How did the Muslim blow up? He accidentally left his gas on and after a while sparked up a cigarette.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

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Q. Why did Justin Beiber fall off the ladder? A. He was trying to reach puberty

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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What do you call a deer with no legs? Legs in the City

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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what did the tree say when it fell down? Nothing it is humanly impossible for a tree to talk. Especially after it fell down. I mean that would hurt.

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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