Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Three Greeks and Three Turks are traveling by train to a conference. Both racial groups arrive safely to their destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the kindergarten teacher crying? a child had just choked to death

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you do with a Jewish kid with add( attention deficits disorder)? Send him to a concentration camp

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did rishi say to jess ? GOOD ONE

thumb_up thumb_down +2

They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Jew,Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk all jump off the top of the Empire State Building,who hits the ground first? The Jew because the other two dont exist

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's white and black and lives in the ghetto : a panda bear

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops