Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

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[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

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sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

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A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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So I was walking down the road today

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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What did the brick say to the wall? Nothing, as they are both inanimate objects that lack knowledge and the sense to speak.

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being unaware of his surroundings, the chicken was startled by an oncoming motor vehicle. Due to the animals vapid logic an reasoning, based on impulse it quickly ran to the other side of the street to avoid its imminent death by the speeding automobile. Unknowingly, the chicken had reached the other side of the road,

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A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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