what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

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I'm gay.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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what did the blind orphan with no legs get for christmas? cancer.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between 4 and 6? 2.

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Why did the bear eat the asian? It was hungry

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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3 men walk into a bank. They rob the bank and kil 13 hostages.

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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"This is what kind of fail class?" "AN EPIC FAIL!"

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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