whats the best part of having sex with twenty-three year olds? there's twenty of them.

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

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An underage man walks into a bar. He then was shot and kicked out of the bar. An overage person found the body. What age is he? Normal Age

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a stupid chicken wandering around.

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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Q:Why did Jimmy eat an apple? A:He was hungry.

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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Womens Rights. Excist in nearly every country on Earth today.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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how many couples does it take to screw in a light bulb. 1 the wife to go buy the light bulb and the husbend to put it in.

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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jibby jobby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops