Albert, there is a dead, FLY in your hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What goes up but never comes down? This dick

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Nig gers Jews Bean ers and fa ggots and everyones grandma that died recently, F u c k you there all burning in Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's brown and sticky? A Stick!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

thumb_up thumb_down -35

OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How did the Jew escape the concentration camp? He didn't he was caught and put in the gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Whats black, white and dusty? A nuns fan-y because it never gets used

thumb_up thumb_down -35

WHY DID THE MAN FART HE WAS A FARTY PANTS AND WE CAN CHAT HERE ON THIS WEB GO TO ANTI JOKE SEE ME I WILL GIVE U JOKES

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops