Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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The next sentence is true. The last sentence was a lie.

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Nothing.

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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Black people being friendly.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

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Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops