When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

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Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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Why the USA support the 'Kony 2012'? For Oil

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What did the slave say to its master? Nothing meanwhile he and his family had terminal cancer and were worked without pay for 20 years before dying fro, multiple cases of AIDS and infections within thier lungs and mouths.

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Q: Why did the fork cross the balloon? A: Apples

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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Where's my tractor?

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A blind man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He has gotten used to being blind all his life.

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whats 2+2 equal? 4

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Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

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Dumb

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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Invisible Children Foundation.

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

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What do you call a Pokemon without a trainer? A wild pokemon.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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I was gonna make a joke about a my dick... Racecar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops