Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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RUN

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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The dewey decimal system

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have altzeimer's, Cheese on toast

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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Tucker Rivera

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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