on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? I don't know... That action was so barbarous that it freaked me out, and I was no longer in the vicinity of the area. Since I don't have supersonic hearing, I couldn't pick up anything they were saying...

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer...and the other is a watermelon.

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WHY DO IDIOTS RIGHT STUPID JOKES BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH THERE LIVES.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

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why did the chicken cross the road? no one knows because it got hit by a bus.

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Q~ What did the black man say to the priate when he pulled out a AK47? A~ "This is a gun. im going to kill you with it."

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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Why did the girl fall over? She was poisoned for being the fairest one of all.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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Why did the owl visit the hospital? His mom was dying of luekemia.

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Why do so many Koreans go to medical school? Practicing medicine is a rewarding and respected career.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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why am I writing this...im bored

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Penis.

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Why did the black guy stop drinking his kool-aid? He learned of its high sugar content and began to drink a glass of water as a healthier option.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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Why didn't the boy blow out his birthday cake this year? He died last year.

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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Reading books

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops