Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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what goes woof ? A dog.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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A kid has no friends.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops