Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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scenario: retarded monkey upside down in a mirror question: why is jims dad fat answer: the mexican chicken is an aperadus

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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