What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

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What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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