What happens if you jump on barbed wire, but break your fall? You hurt your arm as well.

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Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

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A disabled man walked into a- That can't be right

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how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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How did sonic run at the speed of sound because he was fast

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If at first you don’t succeed, you clearly weren’t the right person for the job. We’re sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go; please collect your belongings and vacate the premises immediately.

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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