Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Just about everything seeing how the holocaust is not a funny event, but rather enormous tragedy.... Assholes.

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The WNBA is on the cooking channel

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What word rhymes with orange? -Adult onset diabetes

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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minorities

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops