- Anti Joke

What's round and orangey? An orange.

I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

ermm Hello ? what about me says rishi with a tear down his eye

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

Many years ago in the country of France there was this poor conductor who worked a route on a train. He traveled this route every day and every 3 years on the same day a wealthy young lady would get on and starts sit in the seat right behind him. After 3 years have passed he finally picks up the courage to talk to her and they fall in love. They don’t see each other for 3 years. When the poor conductor finally sees her again he is so intoxicated by her beauty he asks the rich lady to marry him. The rich lady said that she can't possibly marry him because he simply doesn't have enough money for her to continue to live her extravagant lifestyle. So he asks the rich lady to give him just 3 years to get enough money and she agrees. So, for 3 long years the poor conductor doesn't eat any breakfast at all. He saved all the money that he would spend on food for breakfast and when finally the 3 years was up, He asked the rich lady to marry him again. The rich lady said that he still doesn't have enough money for her to continue living her current lifestyle. So, again he begs her to just wait 3 more years and he would have enough money. For the next 3 years, the poor conductor doesn't eat breakfast or lunch. This whole time he had been saving all the money he would have spent on breakfast and lunch to try and get the rich lady to marry him. After these 3 years were over, he meets her again and asks her to marry him and again she declines because he just doesn't have enough money for her. The poor conductor, still madly in love, asks for once last chance to get the money so they could get married. At first the rich lady declines buy after his begging and pleading the rich lady agrees to meet him again in 3 years when he promised he would have enough money for her. The poor conductor desperate to gain the rich lady’s love decides to give up breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next 3 years, living off just water and bread. He is certain that after 9 years of saving money he will have enough for her when they finally meet again. After the 3 years are up the poor conductor is a broken man clinging desperately onto the dream of marrying the rich lady. When they meet he gets down on his hands and knees and asks for her hand in marriage. The rich lady declines his offer since he still was not rich enough for her. The conductor snaps and ends up mutilating her so is sent to jail. He sat his trail where he was sentenced to death by electrocution for his actions. After his trial was over and he was waiting to be electrocuted, the prison guard comes in and says that this was to be his last meal on earth and asked what he wanted. The poor conductor hadn't eaten anything but bread for 3 years so he asks for his favorite dinner, a good old American Thanksgiving meal with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry sauce, a piece of pumpkin pie, a cup of black coffee, and a cigar; and so he ate his turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, and ate the piece of pumpkin pie, drank his cup of black coffee, and smoked the cigar. The next morning, the prison guard came to take him to be electrocuted, but when they flipped the switch nothing happened! They took the prisoner back to the cell and checked the electric chair and found nothing wrong. That day the Prison guard came back and said that this was going to be his last meal on earth and asked what he wanted. So the poor conductor thought for a while before deciding on his favorite dish for lunch: Roast beef, corn, mashed potatoes, a piece of apple pie, a cup of black coffee, and a cigar. So he ate the roast beef, the corn, and the mashed potatoes. He ate the apple pie, drank the cup of black coffee, and smoked the cigar. The following morning, the prison guard came to take him away to the electric chair. After he was put in they flipped the switch and nothing happened again. So they took him back to his cell to figure out what happened. They decided something must be wrong with the chair so they moved the prisoner to another prison over night to carry out his sentence. So the next morning the prison guard came to see what he wanted to eat for his last meal on earth, and the prisoner said that he wanted his favorite breakfast for his last meal. So he had a huge stack of pancakes with real maple syrup, eggs sunny side up with bacon and sausage, a cup of black coffee, and a cigar. And so he ate the hug stack of pancakes with real maple syrup, eggs with bacon and sausage, drank the coffee and smoked the cigar. He then walked down to electric chair and they flipped the switch and nothing happened. By this time the prison guards were totally boggled and confused. They checked the chair and it was perfectly fine. They checked the electricity and it was working in perfect order yet try as they might they couldn't kill the man. Perplexed the guard said to the prisoner “That chair contains enough electricity to kill 10 men. How have you survived the it not once, not twice but three times?” And so the guy in the chair replied. 'I tried to tell you before that I'm a poor conductor.'

Moby Stick, the Great White Twig

Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Barack Obama plays basketball

What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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