Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

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One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

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what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

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If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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Why do rabbits have such a reputation for rampant reproduction? Sex feels extra good for rabbits.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

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What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

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Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender was just about to leave, so he takes the dog home with him. He makes found dog signs and posts them around the neighborhood. The owner sees one of the signs and retrieves his pet from the bartender, thanking him for finding his dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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