Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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why did those sick people do 2 girls 1 cup? me and my sister got bores.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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What color is red paint? Red

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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Banana Hamock.

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A guy walks into a bra. The woman screams and calls 991.

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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What is the difference between a lion and a tiger? A lion ,on average, weighs 31 kilograms more.

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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whats the king of the forest, is the color brown and is red all over? A deer or someone's soon to be dinner.

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Whats sad about 4 blacks riding of a cliff in a cadilac. It was a rental.

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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Why did Ramsey fall off the seesaw? Because while he was playing with friends on a seesaw at a nearby Country Club, a very angry and insane man who had many handicaps, decided to solve his problems by killing someone. A funeral was held a week later.

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A guy asks his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamborghini Countach - she loves this car and she goes everywhere in it. One day, she picks up her kids from school. She's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor, "Where is my son? He was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham." The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he won't be able to kick a football any more." The woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at Wimbledon." The doctor says, "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more." She begins to cry. "Doctor," asks the woman, "how long have I been in this coma?" The doctor replies, "Six months." "So what's the date?" asks the woman. "April 1st," says the doctor. The woman begins to laugh "So you were joking then, were you?" Doctor: "YES... they had minor breaks and cuts but both have made full recoveries. I'll get them and your fiancé down here straight away." The woman is relieved and is discharged three days later to continue recuperating at home, while the doctor is sent to a tribunal for tricking her into believing her children had been maimed and eventually accepts early retirement with a generous severance package.

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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