Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refridgerator

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CHAD'S A FAG!!!

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What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

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Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

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a little violence in a relationship doesn't hurt anybody

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What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

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I was Born ready I was born naked.

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A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

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What's worse than having your t.v. stolen by a Mexican? Getting raped with a chainsaw.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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