When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Walnut

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Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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So there's this moose right? And he walks into the store and asks where the potatoes are. And the cashier lady says aisle 5. So the moose walks to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing, because they clearly never made contact with each other, owing to the fact that Osama was born approximately 13 years after Hitler had committed suicide

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Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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weston cage

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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69!!! (its funny cause i made a referance to 69)

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What do you call a white man who murdered his whole family? -a murder What do you call a black man who raped five women? -a rapest What do you call a Mexican with a leaf blower -a hardworking legal immigrant working twelve hours seven days a week to support his wife and three children.

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Im taking a shit right now.

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Wanna hear something dirty? Mud.

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

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Knock, knock Whos there? docter doctor who? yes how did you know?

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What happened to the guy who drank poison? he died.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he was badly burnt in a house fire.

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Leo! Leo get over here before i abuse you. Okay, im going to my whip.

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What do Ping-Pong and Godzilla have in common? Both of them have nothing to do with budhism.

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What's a boulder's favorite type of music? Boulders don't have ears.

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My three children are three big mistakes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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