"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Tic tac toe. I never met my father

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Why was the woman blind? Because she couldn't see

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Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

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Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

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There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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What's the Green Lantern's favorite holiday? Hannukah

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SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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You know what isn't funny? Getting punched in the face. You know what is funny? Brittany Spears getting punched in the face.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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